Hollywood stinks. Not really, but maybe soon.
Big stars admit they don’t bathe their children unless they see piles of dirt all over their bodies or until there’s a “stink” factor. Yuck! Some actors admit they don’t shower often, then wonder why the only dates they get to walk the red carpet with is either a deviated septum or a congenital nasal congestion.
Preserving our precious resource – water – is vital. And it is important that we all make our contribution to the village.
My family members in particular should receive the NoBull price for their contributions.
My granddaughter understands the subject. She is a naturally born soaker. She soaks the dishes, pots, pans, sweaters, her poodle, which was once a Great Dane – for days she claims it would make everything softer, make the water easier to drain and thus save energy. Science is not their strongest subject.
The teenage grandson is also a dutiful citizen. He doesn’t clean his room until he receives a subpoena from the health department.
How can I not be proud of these young people who are conscientious future leaders, not out of laziness but out of love for their country.
As for energy conservation, I haven’t had much in the past 18 months as my fiancÃ©, Rege the Duke of Bridgeton, is taking in so much of it. To save electricity, we order takeaway from Restaurant 19, Jolanda, Two Guys from Italy, Mexico or Asia. Occasionally we ask the butler to pick up some food before we go to our mansion to serve us.
I have suggestions on the subject of water and its conservation, as requested by VMS.
Stock up on perfume and mouth spray or … keep wearing masks for the ages. It’s even better to hang out with people with deviated septums or nasal congestion.
Drink scotch – not water. In fact, you are drinking straight from the bottle. No glass for washing in water.
Wear the same clothes all week until they get up and go to the washing machine on their own.
Shower with a friend. They have no? Go to Craig’s List and ask Craig. He could bring his own loofah.
Tell him Jan sent you.
Villager humorologist Jan Marshall is the author of satirical survival books, including “Dancin ‘Schmancin’ with the Scars”. Find the humor, no matter what! âJan has also written ambitious children’s books,â The Littlest Hero âandâ The Toothbrush Who Tried to Runaway â. Contact her at [email protected]